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Jun 12 2008
A Brief Comment Regarding How Interracial Relationships are Precieved
Guess Who 2005
Tuesday night as I was about to go to sleep, my TV happened to still be on and I happened upon the movie Guess Who. For those who don’t know, the movie a 2005 adaptation of the 1967 film Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner starring Sidney Poitier as the fiancé of a white woman who family is none to happy about their daughter’s choice in suitors. In this version, the roles are reversed in that the woman is Black and the man is White. The film seems to have an added comic appeal as well in that fiancé and father are played by notorious joksters Ashton Kutcher and Bernie Mac respectively.
The movie has the usual “Dad doesn’t like my boyfriend” vibe and of course, everything turns out swell in the end, but it lead me to question why my own relationship has never gone under the same metaphorical microscope. In my case, I am a disabled wheelchair using White man with a Filipino girlfriend who I intend to officially propose to soon enough. (I don’t want give the date away because she might be reading this). Anyhow, we personally have never faced any real racism in our three plus years together. Why is this? Are Asian/White relationships deemed more acceptable in modern society? Is the fact that we live in the northeastern United states a factor? Does my Cerebral Palsy have anything to do with our being embraced as a couple and does my disability somehow cancel out any racial tension? I have heard some people suggest a “yes” to all these questions. Maybe it’s just because the Asian population is so limited in our area that my lady’s parents didn’t care? I’ve noticed too how many Asian women seem to prefer to date White men and I’ve also heard some people say that Asian cultures seem to assimilate easily into Caucasian circles. Is this true? Also, there is a lot of Latino and Hispanic intermarriage in my family. Why is there very little scrutiny there? Why is the Black/White dynamic so different? I know we have a deep legacy of racial division between Black and White races in much of the world, but the fact that the race issue is so much less prevalent or ubiquitous among other races is amazing to me. Let me know what you think in your comments and of course, make them waxful! 
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In my perspective, I see Black/ White interracial marriage/ relationships being a lot more acceptable now than say, 20 years ago. So, although it may not be acceptable to everyone, for one reason or another, I do believe that our society is slowly getting to the place of “to each’s own” mentality.
http://afrugalmom.today.com/
Several thoughts on this. First of all, I think that interracial marriages are perceived similarly by society at large regardless of the races involved. I think that the reason we see so much more about black and white interracial marriage is because they are two of the larger races, so for media stereotyping purposes, why not use the more common instances?
I think that they are actually relatively easy, because the communities are so large, and are really “American” communities. I know that where I grew up, it was diverse, but often very separated. Interracial, or, more accurately, inter-ethnic, dating was considered taboo. Not just Latino-white, or Asian-white, but Chinese-Korean, or Italian-Irish, or Puerto Rican-Mexican dating was all looked down on by a lot of families, because of the cultural aspect.
I think that if neither you or your girlfriend grew up in a very “ethnic,” or religious family and community, it makes sense that the racial issue would not be a big deal. I also think that your being disabled might distract from that as well.
Unfortunately, I think that the new “interracial” dating is “inter-abled” dating. I’ve heard a lot of comments made about people with physical or mental disabilities who date period, especially if they date fully abled individuals. I think this is based almost entirely on ignorance. I think there are certain disabilities where a person is either unable to be physically intimate, or where it is unhealthy to reproduce. BUT, I think people don’t realize that with many disabilities, a) they are not genetic, and b) being differently abled in some aspects doesn’t make one totally incapable of having a functional relationship with someone else, even if reproduction is out of the question.
I’m sure that dating someone with CP, Spina Bifida, a “little person,” etc. is challenging emotionally and just practically for many people. But I think that there are challenges in every relationship, and if people want to work to overcome that, we shouldn’t judge them.
Anyway, I got a little off track. My main point there was that I think that the first thought that crosses people’s mind when they see you and your girlfriend probably has nothing to do with her being Filipina, and more to do with your situation.
BTW-I added links to your blog on both of my blogs. Feel free to check them out, and link them if you’d like. It would be much appreciated.
http://gamingtips.today.com
http://zachthinks85.blogspot.com
Sorry I didn’t come across this sooner! Gamingtips really said everything one could say. I’ve been pondering the intricacies of interracial dating a lot lately, myself. I’m a black woman and I don’t date very many black men. I think that those outside looking in think that interracial dating is more accepted than it actually is. In my personal experience black men feel it’s okay for them to date whomever but when we do it’s perceived as an insult to them.
Either way, I think that it’s more widely accepted in when some races date each other and because of the history of this country, much less accepted (still very much so) in this country. My 2 cents could go on and on and on…